i hate it so much. why do i miss him? i just really hate the fact that i cant talk to him anymore or really even look at him. when dating we use to have great conversations but now its just "hey", "hey" and its over. o well, no telling what the future will bring. today was a very stressful day. getting to school on time seemed impossible. getting prepared for all my classes and all that fun stuff was AHH. feeling dead and tired the whole day. trying to just stay awake. almost fell asleep on the way to work tonight which scares me b/c its not fun to space out while driving and wounder if you're going to crash. coffee and sleep! i helped chris close tonight b/c i forgot to tell him i had curfew till 15 min. before i was suppose to leave. he freaked out b/c he had to close kp so i told him to call dad and ask him if i could stay. dad said yes and i didnt get home till 9:45. now i just wish that i could fit hw, guitar, workout and sleep all in tonight but i know thats not gonna happen. so should i still get an apartment w/in the next year. ill be 18 in 6 months. part of me wants to get out there and say bring it on. the other part of me knows im safe w/ my family and that they love me. who knows what'll happen. first i have to get a car then a laptop then start saving for college or whatever comes after highschool then maybe i can think about an apartment. where does all the money go? i cant figure it out. well i must go start my hw. TTFN.
posted by Esther Slaughter @ 7:24 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
ms esther! wow, i got tired just READING your blog, i can only imagine how you must feel!!! it's okay though, summer is just around the corner!! about thomas: i would say if he really is as great a guy as you give him credit for, dont just let an awesome FRIENDSHIP go out the window like your time :) make sure he knows taht you understand you're not trying to date anymore, but you want to be really good friends. it's cool to have great friends like him. also: highschool drama: i'm not going to tell you that i goes away, because i'm almost done w/ my 2nd year of college: and it's STILL there. HOWEVER, i will give you this glimmer of hope: it does lessen up a bit and is MUCH easier to dodge in college than in high school. so keep your chin up! so you play guitar huh? that's awesome!! i'm trying to learn but my fingers just start hurting, and then i wait like 4 days to play it again, and by then, it's out of tune and i dont really know how to tune it, so i can't play it! i guess i could tune it with the piano--but that's way too much work! ahh! you talked about saving money for college: a good way to save money is scholarships, yay! :) i'm not trying to put pressure on you because i know parentals do that already, but try your hardest with those grades girl! trust me, when you start seeing those bills for the loans, you'll be praising God that you worked hard in highschool. it PAYS off! haha (no pun intended, of course!) so now that i've said like 6 things all in a random, unorganized manner, i'm going to head to bed now. keep encouraging sarah b/c God's going to do something HUGE! i love you and goodnight!
Esther,
Your life shouldn't be so complicated at 17. You have the rest of your life to stress out and go, go, go. Try to relax and rest in the peace of God. God will work everything out, just trust Him. It's good to see you making an effort to come to prayer on Wednesday nights because you can't get there on Sunday because of work. God will see you through, just trust in Him.
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